Humor

Mueller Presser Explained by Sarah Huckabee Sanders

 The nation held its collective breath today as special counsel Robert Mueller held a press conference at the Justice Department. While the pundits debate exactly what Mueller said, press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders gave The Lint Screen her informed translation. “It was pretty obvious Bob Mueller admitted his investigation was a plete and total witch …

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Graham Believes Trump Is The Second ing

 South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham is a devout Christian. “I was raised right,” the sweet talking Graham told The Lint Screen. “I know who to love, and I know who to hate. The good guys have wings, and the bad ones have pitchforks. The only thing that will stop them is a good guy with …

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South Carolina Passes The Most Restrictive Abortion Law Yet

 South Carolina has entered the abortion law fanfare spreading across America. Today state lawmakers passed what many believe is the country’s most restrictive abortion law. “We aren’t about to watch Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Missouri, and Ohio get all the limelight,” said state representative Tommy White. “We want to control the bodies of our baby carriers …

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Trump Orders Dragons For His Foreign Policy Negotiations

 President Donald J. Trump is a student of history. He has been studying famous battles and warfare and has decided what the United States of America needs isn’t nuclear bombs, aircraft carriers, fighter jets, or stealth bombers. No. What we need are dragons! “I think dragons can be game changers for us,” the prez told …

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Pompeo Optimistic About Melting Ice Caps

 Secretary of State Mike Pompeo sees great opportunities thanks to the alleged climate change crisis. “I agree with the president,” Pompeo told The Lint Screen. “There’s no such thing as climate change–– it’s a Chinese hoax! Like evolution or gravity. But, luckily, the ice caps are melting which is like slowly opening a Christmas present …

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